Earlier this week, I ran across a story about a group of friends who have devised a clever way to keep themselves from getting distracted by their phones when they meet at a restaurant. After everyone has ordered, they all put their mobile phones facedown in the center of the table, sometimes stacked in a tall pile (which they call the “phone stack”). As the meal progresses, various phones might buzz or ring as new texts arrive, notifications are displayed, or calls are received. When this happens, the owner of the phone might be tempted to flip it over, but doing so comes at a cost: the first person to touch their phone has to pick up the check!
I like this idea for two reasons. First, it’s an ingenious yet simple mechanism for avoiding that all too common experience where your fellow diners spend more time interacting with their phones than with each other. Instead of pretending that mobile phones are not really a distraction, it puts them front and center, acknowledging their potential for disruption, yet declaring that their human owners still have the power to ignore them when engaged in face-to-face community. Turning their phones completely off might be even better, but keeping them on yet ignoring them seems to require even more reflective discipline. The public and very noticeable ritual of stacking the phones also acts like a kind of witness to others in the restaurant, advocating for the importance of being fully present when one has that rare opportunity to sit down with friends.
The other reason I like this is that it is a nice example of a more general phenomenon. When social groups adopt a new device, they often create rules or games like these to govern the use of that device when gathered together. Small, close-knit groups like the one that invented this game can easily enforce their rules, but larger cultures go through a social process of working-out new social norms that are generally followed, at least to some degree. For example, movie theaters have been running messages before the films for several years now asking audiences to silence their mobile phones, but I’ve noticed recently that they have expanded this message by asking audiences to also refrain from using their phones at all, silently or otherwise, during the film. Just as it is rare to now hear a mobile phone audibly ring during a film, I hope it will soon be just as rare to see the glow of a phone screen as an audience member responds to a text message.
What kind of rules or games have your families or friends created to limit the use of mobile devices when gathered together?